


Unfold me

by Hclxs



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Childhood Trauma, F/M, Five Stages of Grief, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Health Issues, Moving On, Red Room (Marvel), References to Depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-07-24 20:39:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16182767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hclxs/pseuds/Hclxs
Summary: A death through the eyes of nineteen people who all deal with it in their own way while finding more about Natasha Romanov.





	1. Clint pt. one

**Author's Note:**

> First off, I want to say that this does reference suicide heavily through most of this story and if that is something that would possibly trigger or bother you in anyway please do not read. This is not for shock value or anything like that but I just felt that the characters in the mcu are beautifully and tragically flawed and broken people at least more than a lot of the fandoms likes to let on. Natasha is Clints best friend and has been through hell, she's not just a badass spy with no emotions. Steve isn't always the best guy and kinda self righteous. Tony has mental health issues and is just trying and does not deserve to be demonized all the time. Sam spent time in a war and watched his best friend die, those two events alone does not leave a person unchanged. I'm basically just annoyed with how the fandom treats some characters. And, I know I write a lot of SamNat but these two are pretty much complete opposites and I love it so this is not just because I wanted more of this pairing out there.  
> Secondly, this is somewhat based off personal experience. Since my sophomore year of high school I've lost count of how many people I knew who died, it's more than I can count on two hands I can tell you that. I also needed to get a lot of things off my chest, a lot of thoughts, feelings and emotions I've had for a very long time. I've wanting to talk to someone but I'm very private and I don't do well with my own emotions.

Clint walked down the stairs, Nate in his arms, he was three down and liked to launch himself off things and the baby gait didn't help. It normally resulted in himself or Nat catching him when she visited and occasionally Sam but he hadn't quit got the handle on the kids yet. Lila of course adored him because she adored anything and anyone relating to Auntie Nat and surprisingly Cooper liked him which was rare, Sam was the only adult Cooper liked that hadn't been around since before he was born and he still didn't do well around Lauras parents. 

Clint placed Nate in his booster chair before grabbing a can of peaches and pouring them into a bowl, for whatever reason peaches were the only thing he would eat for breakfast. Lila ran into the kitchen at almost full speed, Cooper behind her and Laura not far behind him. 

"Daddy," She squealed, stopping directly in front of him. It was still warm out for October so she just wore a dress with a light sweater over it. "Auntie Nat and Sam are gonna be here when we get out of school, right?" 

Laura chucked softly, playfully rolling her eyes at their daughters excitement for Nat and the last day of school for fall break.  And that Sam and Nat both promised to stay the entire length of it.

"Yeah, they will be." Clint looked at the clock, frowning at the time. She should have at least called by now. "The bus is almost here, Coop, Li, grab your backpacks okay? You don't need to be late today." Lila nodded, running off to grab her bag but Cooper lagged behind, waiting till his sister was out of earshot before speaking.

"Something's wrong isn't it?" He looked at both his parents. 

"No," Laura spoke first, shaking her head. "Everything's fine."

"Nothing you need to worry about, okay?" Clint smiled, hoping it was reassuring enough for him.

Cooper nodded, still concerned but went to get his own backpack anyway. 

* * *

Tony Stark showed up, knocking on their door at a little after two that afternoon. As soon as Clint opened the door he knew something was wrong, Tony never showed up completely unannounced and he had the same facial expression he had when they found out Coulson died. 

"Are your kids home?" He ask before Clint could even open his mouth. 

He shook his head. "Their at school, they'll be back in about an hour."

Tony nodded, letting out a soft sigh and running a hand through his already messy hair. "Get Laura, we need to talk."

Clint found Laura in Nates room, finally getting him down for a nap, he had been unusually cranky all day and some of last night. "Hey, laur." He whispered so he wouldn't wake their son, earning her attention. "Tony's here, says we need to talk." Laura nodded, quietly shutting the door behind her. 

"Is this about Nat and Sam?" She ask, it had been a concern all day.  They were supposed to here over an hour ago and neither one had been responding to any call or text from either one of them. Lila had even left a voicemail from Lauras phone which was something Nat would normally respond to as soon as possible. "You think somethings wrong." It wasn't a question, she knew her husband. 

"What if something is wrong?" Clint swallowed hard, biting the inside of his cheek. It wasn't like Nat to be late, at all. "What if something happened to her? Or to Sam? I can't help her if something happened to him, I can't fix that. I can't keep her safe from that." 

Laura sighed, looking away for a few seconds before looking back at him. "We don't even know if something happened and if it did we just help her."

"But-" Laura held up a hand, cutting him off. "She's not that sixteen year old girl you brought home anymore and she's not our daughter."

"But she was, Laura, she was our practice baby and basically our first kid." He looked away. "Sometimes I still catch glimpses of that girl."

"I know, I do too but you can't protect her from everything Clint."

He nodded, starting to head downstairs again, Laura following close behind. They found Tony sitting at their kitchen table with his head in his hands, muttering to himself. He looked up when he heard them sit down, Clint noticed he looked worse than usual. 

"Sam called his morning," He paused, trying to figure out what to say. 

"So," Laura rose an eyebrow in question. "They're okay?"

Clint watched Tony, a silent conversation passing between the two and he knew what happened but needed to hear it. "Say it." Clint demanded, trying to keep his voice steady. He knew he failed that task when Laura looked at him.

Tony let out a broken sigh, his hands trembling. "Natasha killed herself early this morning. Sam found her."

Lauras hand went to cover her mouth in shock, her eyes already tearing up for the women she called a best friend and sister, who she once called a daughter of sorts. Clint stood up, the chair falling back with his quick and forceful movement. He ran a hand through his hair, clenching his other fist hand, digging his nails in his skin hard enough to draw blood as if the pain in his hand could distract him from his own emotions. Laura stood up, wrapping her arms around her husband as he willed himself not to cry, her own tears falling silent but free. 

Tony sat motionless and watched the two, trying to figure out what to say or do.


	2. Sam Pt. one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has mentions and references to suicide through out the entire chapter, again if you think this is could trigger you in anyway or for whatever reason you believe this just isn't for you please do not put yourself through reading this. This is not for shock value or anything like that, I wanted to write something real and real emotions these characters may be feeling and suicide, depression and other mental illnesses are very real even though we don't always see them. Depression and suicide is not just real for someone who has gone through traumatic events during their life, mental illness can happen to anyone at any point in life. If you or someone you know is thinking/ talking about committing suicide please seek help with a parent, guardian, teacher, councilor, boss or someone at work who can get you in touch with the right people, or someone you trust. I'm not going to be one of those people who say suicide is never an option, it is, but it's an option that takes away so many more options and opportunities and life getting better. It's a very tragic thing that happens to so so many people but it's also preventable through the simple act of caring, friendship, kindness, open arms, listening to someone can save a life so don't pass up those opportunists to show someone the love they may not get or feel.

Sam sat on the edge of their bed,  _his_ bed now, staring at the too blank wall they never decorated. Nat had printed off a few pictures she wanted to hang up but they never got around to between Avenging and the random things that came up because they're Avengers, visiting the Barton family, him mom, Gideon and Kyle and they just didn't feel like it half the time. He hadn't even bothered to change his clothes, they were the clothes he went running in and the clothes he found her in. They were covered in her blood but he could make his body move to take them off, maybe it was because of the blood. He didn't know, his mind wasn't working either. 

Clint had called his phone twice already and three times on Nats, he was pretty sure the third time was Lila because a voicemail was left and she was the only one who did that. Oh God, he didn't want to think about how Lila was going to react to this. He knew the stories of Auntie Nat and knew she was queen of baking and kitchen duets, bed time stories from whatever book it was for the moment or child friendly versions of Delta missions, bringing home things from missions and travels, knew exactly how Lila wanted her stuffed animals arranged and she was the only one allowed to comment on the fact Coop still slept with his stuffed Kiwi bird she got him, and many other things. As much as he knew the kids liked him he knew no one was going to be able to replace Auntie Nat or whoever she was to people. Sister, best friend, late night drinking buddy, fiancee.

Everything was okay until it wasn't, Sam knew there had been something wrong the past few  weeks but one thing he learned with Natasha was sometimes she just needed to be alone to lick her wounds so he didn't really think much of it. Because dammit, she had been through so much shit in her lifetime and she always survived it.

His phone rang again, it was Clint again, Tony probably told him by now. He knew it was unfair to put it all on Tony but at the same time he couldn't help it. Tony was the last person she talked to. Tony was the person who found her and found him. It wasn't Tonys fault, rationally he knew that but Sam needed to blame someone and Tony was easy blame, he would carry it and let everyone take their anger out on him. It wasn't fair but that's what the angry part of Sam did, he was angry at Tony.

Sam picked up the phone and answered it before putting it to his ear. 

"Sam." Clints voice was thick with emotion, too many emotions for Sam to zone in on just one. Loss. Anger. Hurt. Confusion. 

"Clint." He answered, his own voice was hoarse. 

"I," Clint started before going silent for a few long seconds. "What the fuck happened?" He ask after Sam assumed he gathered his thoughts. 

Sam sighed, he didn't even think about how Clint and Laura would react, he knew the story. Nat told him after he ask one day, Clint brought her in when she was sixteen. She told him how Clint and Laura helped make her into the person she was, he heard the jokes about how she was their practice baby. Now he wondered how many of jokes about her being their daughter of sorts were jokes. Sam knew the threats Clint made about how if he ever hurt her he'd make him wish for death were real.

"I don't," Sam spoke, his voice was low enough that he knew Clint probably didn't hear him. "She was just there on the floor. And there was blood." He stumbled over his words. "And I don't know."

"Sam," Clint started to speak but he didn't want to listen anymore. 

"I," Sam interrupted before realizing he didn't know what he was going to say. "Shit. Sorry. I need- I'm sorry." Sam hung up before Clint could answer. 

He didn't know what to do or think, at the moment he didn't really know anything. Sam  laid back on the bed, letting out a shaky breath and covering his face with his hands. 

**Author's Note:**

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